My husband and I are devoted fans of the Love and Respect Conferences for marriages! The conferences are based on the New York Best Seller book entitled, Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs, by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. In the last 17 years of marriage, we have attended at least eight Love and Respect video conferences at our church. Recently, we finally had the opportunity to hear them speak in person at a live conference, and it was a real thrill for us!
I know what you are thinking….
9 marriage conferences that are all the same?
Conclusion: Forrest and Beth are slow learners…
Agreed. No arguments.
You have no idea how often Forrest and I need day-to day-reminders of Biblical marriage principles! Check out HTHL’s Pinterest Board for the marriage education for the additional classes we have attended. We have learned, a good marriage doesn’t just happen. It takes investment. And I can say with a smile on my face; we have enjoyed the high dividends of this kind of investment.
So when the Eggerichs announced that they wrote a book on parenting, we headed straight for the book table and purchased a copy of Love and Respect in the Family.
Attention parents of young adults or even adults!
Don’t tune out.
This book was not written just for young parents. If you are 92 years of age or older and you have children, you will find this information will deepen your parent/child relationships! A parent’s job is never done. Your children still need your love, encouragement, and prayers, no matter what their age.
Here is what I love about this book. Although the book is authored by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, his entire family gave input to the writing of this book. Their three adult children lace the book with a heartfelt backward glance of what parenting moments reached their heart and what did not. His wife Sarah offers her point of view and insecurities as a mom of little ones and grown children. Emerson is transparent as a human father. He openly shares mistakes and regrets, and yet shines a grace-filled Biblical foundation for parenting.
I did NOT find formulas. (Something I have always despised in a parenting book. There are just too many variables for a parenting formula.)
Instead, I did find practical guidelines and most importantly, freedom (Galatians 5:1-my life verse) to love and serve my children. After reading this book, I was strengthened in my relationship with the Lord. I placed my confidence in God’s strength to do what he has called me to do as a parent. I am not kidding. I finished the book on Sunday morning before church and during our church’s worship, I lifted my heart with gratitude saying, “Thank you, Lord for the freedom to parent-as unto you!” Some parenting shackles dropped. Thank you, Eggerichs family!
Beth’s Test of Christian Literature and Scripture Interpretation
#1 Does it cause me to follow Jesus with more passion and devotion?
Answer for Love and Respect in the Family-YES!
#2 Does it cause me to love and serve others more?
Answer for Love and Respect in the Family-YES!
Another highlight of the book! Emerson also tears down the “Outcome Trap,” or the “If you follow these seven steps, you are garrrr-auunt-eeeeeeded perfect Christian children in two weeks, but ya gotta act now!” (Please say that last phrase with a with a late-night-commercial-used car-salesman voice).
This past weekend, my heart broke when a dedicated follower of Christ, who has served in the mission field, sister-in-Christ told me of the pain she and her family suffered. Someone in her church did not agree with one of their parental decisions and made it a point to let everyone in her church know. My friend and her husband’s parenting choice for their children was not unbiblical, and it came after much prayer and council. It was one of those decisions that they made that seemed “best to them for their family.” She recounted the isolation her family experienced. Unfortunately, “Parenting my way or the highway,” became the divisive mission of this church. (I think we can find better things to do with our God-given time.) Sadly, it becomes the misdirected mission of many church communities, homeschool co-ops, and other Christian gatherings. May Romans 15: 5 be our prayer!
“May the God of endurance and encouragement grant you to live in such harmony with one another, in accord with Christ Jesus,” Romans 15:5
The pressure to perform with “parental perfection” divides brothers and sisters in Christ. We hurt each other and our children. It causes deep parental discouragement. The Eggerichs Family candidly share about their experience “living in a fishbowl” as a pastor, pastor’s wife, and pastor’s kids.
Emerson also recognizes and addresses what many parenting books neglect; our children have the same beautiful gift that has been given to us, free-will, with all of its complications. He offers insightful, practical guidance through rough seas when free-will clashes with a parent trying to instill wisdom. As a parent reading this book, you will not be left discouraged but empowered to be a God-honoring parent that leaves a lasting legacy.
But I think what is going to make this book a Christian classic is Emerson’s Biblical scholarship that is evident from page one to the last words. He presented the Christian community with a feast of spiritual meat that is sure to become a “core parenting handbook” to be read over and over in different parenting seasons of life. I know it will in my life.
From Our House to Yours,
Have you been to a Love and Respect conference or read the book? Have you read, Love and Respect in the Family?